What To Do If Your Child Is Not Walking With God

By Michael Wallenmeyer

If your son or daughter isn’t walking with Jesus right now, I want you to know something up front: you are not alone, and God has not abandoned your child or your family. As I’ve prayed for many parents over the years, I know there is always good reasons to be hopeful.

From what I’ve seen in Scripture, in ministry, and in the wisdom of many godly parents, here are five of the most important things you can do when your child is wandering:

1. Pray and surrender your child to the Lord daily

As parents, we often want to fix things quickly. But the truth is, only God can change a human heart, and He invites us to fight this battle spiritually, on our knees. When we pray, we shift from fear to trust. We stop trying to control the outcome and instead place our children back into God’s hands.

What this looks like:

• Set aside a few minutes each day to pray specifically for your child.
• Ask the Lord to soften their heart and open their eyes to His grace.
• Thank Him that He is at work even when we can’t see it.

2. Prioritize relationship over arguments

One of the biggest mistakes parents make is thinking more logic, more lectures, or more pressure will bring their child back. It won’t. What opens hearts is relationship—presence, listening, and love. When your child knows you are for them, not trying to win an argument, you create a bridge God can use later.

What this looks like:

• Listen far more than you speak.
• Ask curious, non-defensive questions.
• Spend time together in simple, everyday ways—meals, hobbies, walks.

3. Model an authentic, humble, grace-filled faith

Kids are rarely argued back into faith, but they are often drawn back by a faith that is real, humble, and filled with grace. When they see you confess sin, admit mistakes, forgive others, and pursue Jesus with joy—not pressure—it leaves a powerful impression that lasts.

What this looks like:

• Be quick to say, “I’m sorry,” when needed.
• Let your child see you living out your faith naturally and sincerely.
• Show them that following Jesus is about grace, not performance.

4. Examine your own heart and remove barriers if needed

Sometimes, without meaning to, we contribute to the tension—through harshness, legalism, control, or unresolved conflict. A wandering child often softens when a parent demonstrates humility and repentance.

What this looks like:

• Ask God to reveal anything you may have contributed to the distance.
• If appropriate, offer a simple, honest apology to your child.
• Invite God to reshape your tone, your approach, and your expectations.

5. Keep inviting, keep loving, and don’t give up

You can’t force your child to walk with Jesus, but you can keep the door open, keep the tone gracious, and keep the invitations gentle. Over time, that steady love is often what God uses to draw people home.

What this looks like:

• Light, pressure-free invitations to meals, church, or family events.
• Share resources that might help them think—but don’t badger.
• Set wise boundaries when necessary, but always stay relationally open.

Parents, don’t lose heart. God loves your child even more than you do. He is patient, He is faithful, and He specializes in bringing prodigals home!

 

Michael Wallenmeyer is the Lead Pastor at Grace Church in Allen, Texas. He grew up in Arizona after living in Missouri and California, and also spent time teaching English in Taiwan before returning to the U.S. to study at Moody Bible Institute and Trinity Evangelical Divinity School, where he met his wife, Marcie. Together, they have three children—Justice, Audra, and Noah. Michael is passionate about gospel-centered ministry, building strong community, making disciples, and helping people see how the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus transforms everyday life.